Mahi wondered how on earth he had woken up on Vedarala, the witch doctor’s medicine bed. Just an ordinary village farmer, he hasn’t taken part, even occasionally, in those cross-village marathons which they have for the annual New Year celebrations. Yet he faintly remembered himself running—more like flying—over the paddy fields, stick fences around gardens, streams, and jungle paths till he finally reached the witch doctor’s shack and fell unconscious on the sandy compound.

The witch doctor saw Mahi’s bleeding body covered with lots of fresh wounds. Apart from a few cuts in his legs from perilous jumps over fences and through thorny bushes, many looked like animal bites—more like canine bites to his seasoned eyes. He was overwhelmed by the bite marks all over the poor guy. He wondered how many cannies might have rounded him up and where. Giriya, the witch doctor’s aide, came to help lift the unconscious man and lay him over the coir rope-woven medicine bed. While the witch doctor examined the bleeding wounds, Giriya chanted the blessing stanzas from an old Pirith book. The witch doctor cleaned the blood off from Mahi’s bite wounds with a medicine-soaked cloth. Suddenly, Mahi came to life!

“Here come the bloody cannies! Big cannies… fat cannies… Oh, my dear dead granny! Please save me!!”

Feverishly shaking with fear and soaked with sweat, Mahi began pointing his finger at a distant spot where he saw the mystical, invisible canines closing in to bite him to death.

“Oh, hell! They’re coming! Coming to kill me, devil’s cannies… big ones, fat ones, calf-size, bull-size, save me, Vedarala!”

Mahi hugged Vedarala in fear. The witch doctor nuzzled Mahi’s head with his palm.

“It’s the Great Devil, Mahasona!” Giriya uttered. “Mahasona is the one showing up in the canine’s avatar…”

“You know nothing about this,” said the witch doctor, watching fear-ridden Mahi thoughtfully. “Mahasona appears as one big canine, not as a pack of them. This is a more serious matter.”

Vedarala asked Giriya to bring him the pot of Pirith-enchanted water. While Giriya was chanting the holy stanzas from the old book, the witch doctor began sprinkling Pirith water on his battered, shivering patient.

Mahi slowly began recovering from his shivers. While his painful moans thinned, he started stammering.

“Look at me, Vedarala… they bit me all over, destroyed my crops. The bloody cannies ate my crops. My vegetables, they’re bleeding like me.”

“Calm down, boy…,” said the witch doctor. “I need to know everything.”

“They tore my withered piece of sarong. One came to me like this…” Mahi showed his teeth, widening his mouth as if to bite someone, with a tiger-like growl. “If it got hold of my throat, could have snapped it like beans!”

The witch doctor washed the deep bite wounds on the boy’s skin and continued rubbing some medicinal oil on them. Mahi seemed to get some assurance of safety in Vederala’s custody. Vedarala soothingly rubbed the boy’s head. “Calm down and tell me everything happened.”

Mahi collected some nerves and sat on the medicine bed; fear shrouded his face, eyes wide open, almost ready to pop out.

“Vedarala, ever seen the sun and moon shining together over the fields? And the sky is getting as dark as the forest, as if just before a drencher?” asked Mahi, staring at Vedarala. The witch doctor was dumbfounded.

“No, you haven’t. Nobody has,” said Mahi. “Remember the brass sun and moon hanging over the front door of the manor house? They are hanging to the left and right of the British Queen’s big picture fixed right on top of the door there… Remember now?”

“Hm…” said the witch doctor.

“Just that way… I saw it in the sky!” Mahi continued. “Lord Mantis of the manor house says it brings good fortune. But it’s baffling to see for real. The sun and moon scene stayed like that when the sky grumbled. Andara, working in the garden adjoining mine, shouted, ‘Hurry into the shack, brother. It’s bad to get wet in this rain.” I saw Andara running to the shade of his shack, but I didn’t care. Weeds were overrunning the eggplant bed. It needed weeding badly, so I kept working. Heavy raindrops started falling on my head. I thought it was going to rain like… until Peacreeper Creek overflows. But it was only just a few drops of water, enough to wet my hair. False alarm! I shook them off my head and continued weeding. The sky became clear as before. Sun shining. That round imposing moon, like on a full moon day, vanished without a trace. I moved on to weed the snake gourd trellis.

While weeding there, I saw Lord Mantis of the manor house come walking with his titanacannine; it’s goat’s-like balls dangling behind its cropped tail. That calf-sized canny was pulling the Lord hard! Lord Mantis stopped by and spoke to me,

“Boy, how’s your cultivation?”

“Not bad, Lord Mantis, there would be hundreds of kilos!”

“Good. I have arranged a way for you guys to earn a handsome lump of money out of these veggies, lad,” said The Lord of the manor house. His titanacannine glared at me and shook his majestic head as if to say, ‘Yeah, true!’

It wasn’t Lord Mantis that took off from there, but that titanacannine pulled him away. That strong man Mantis couldn’t stand the pull of his monster canny! ‘I’ll see you later, boy!’ cried Lord Mantis while the titanacanine was pulling him away. How a monster of a canny looked at me and shook its head was dangerous. I couldn’t forget that look on its face thereafter. Andara shouted from the adjoining farmland,

“I’m leaving, brother… Don’t feel that drizzle is for the good!”

No soon after Andara had left, I heard a sound, like someone walking on dry leaves, walking through the vegetable beds… Not one, a few… a group… Dozens feet treading on the vegetable beds! I listened. I heard the pulling of legumin creepers, breaking of the snake gourds, munching of the milky Lady’s Fingers… I felt goosebumps. I heard cannies’ growling. Chills ran across my body. Hair all over me stood up, scared. I stood on my feet from squatting and peeped through the leaves to see what was going on.

Titanacannines! My fucking good God! the Moster cannies!! All over my crop beds! One with cropped tails, ones with hanging ears, and all sorts of overgrown bitch-born monsters, eating my vegetables. When they hurled in equal intervals while eating vegetables, their snouts turned towards the sky, and mouths wide open; none had canine teeth. Their flat teeth were made to grind, and some had green tongues and the others blue. Two dwarf cannies were sitting on the entangled pumpkin creepers, their bellies touching the ground, eating a big pumpkin, like tigers devouring a hunt! Red blood dropped from dying pumpkins when fell on earth, each drop turned into colourful pebbles. Taller titanacannies bent their front legs like warthogs while feeding on Lady’s Figers and brinjal. Blue blood oozed from both sides of their mouths like the thick saliva of Comodo-dragons. Biggest titanacannies, under the snake gourd trellis, were eating the long, ground-touching gourds snapped off in the middle. The bleeding half-gourds were swaying, hanging by the stem! Blood shone laser pink under the raging sun. The titanacannies saw me; they left behind what they were eating and lifted their heads up, showing dangerous white fangs. They began growling at my face all at once. Vedarala, I had a fearful feeling for my dear life. I looked around. There were a few dozens of titanacannies circling me! I only had the fork in my hand to defend myself. Holding the fork tight, I stretched my hand towards the dogs, shook my body and shouted, “Get lost, you bastards. I’ll kill you!”

Thought they would run away, but no! They started coming closer from all sides!

“Not a bugger comes nearer!” I shouted with all my strength. “Another step up, you’re all dead!”

Those two dwarf cannies eating a pumpkin, bit and held me by the ankles before I could even notice! That shattered my confidence. All the titanacannies jumped on me at once and began biting like hell. I fell to the ground. That felt like the end of me. I shouted by all the names I could remember, but nobody was there to help. My shouts were sunk in the frantic barking of the titanacannies. Two muscular titanacannies held my wrists, and another was trying to have a bite off my throat. At that very moment, the name of the only man close to the titanacannies came to my head like lightning!

“Lord Mantis… Save me, Lord Mantis!” I shouted with all my might.

The entire pack stopped and stood still. The four holding my ankles and wrists ran away. A few others, too, ran away with them. One bastard peed on my face and ran away with the rest. I collected all my strength, got up, and ran for my life. I have no idea where I ran. But I think I had a dream on the run. I was flying through the clouds, carrying a bag of vegetables twice my size. I was hurrying to attend a celebration. It was arranged on the clouds. The Governor General had rewarded Lord Mantis as the Governor of Agriculture. I was running to decorate the huge trophy with my vegetables. The stage was as grand and as white as the clouds. Lord Mantis was on stage, sitting with the Governor General. I ran along the path between the seated dignitaries and was just a few feet to the edge of the stage when a dwarf dog crossed my way and knocked me off. I fell to the ground. My sack full of vegetables spilt and rolled everywhere. I rolled over my vegetables and knocked my head on a rock down there, and fainted. Luckily, I’m here, Vedarala. I get goosebumps when I remember it.”

“This is something I have never heard before. Have to contact my dead grandparents tonight!” said the witch doctor, staring at Mahi’s frightened face. “Till then, don’t be afraid. I have a palliative fix.”

Giriya brought a cotton cord soaked in turmeric water. Vedarala enchanted it 108 times with a spell, twisted it with nine knots, and tied it around Mahi’s neck.

“Forget the devils; not even a ghost of a canny can come near you now!” said the witch doctor. “Go anywhere. But remember not to get panic when you see anything unusual. Whatever peculiar you see, let me know, remember?”

With the enchanted thread around the neck, Mahi could collect his nerves back. He thanked the witchdoctor a lot, drank a little Pirith-enchanted holy water from Giriya, and stepped off the shack.

“Vedarala, I’m plucking the remaining brinjals for the market tomorrow. Send Giriya early morning to my garden; I’ll send you a good portion.”

***

Mahi loaded his cart with sacks full of brinjals and set off to the market. On the way, he saw titanacannies. His heartbeat increased when he saw them for the first time, but Mahi remembered the witchdoctor’s advice and decided to act as if he didn’t see them. Mahi was walking along with the cart when he saw the titanacannies, but for his life he jumped on to the cart deck and sat there. Those bizarre cannies he saw had human male or female body shapes. Their clothes too were like those of humans. But the bodies had myriad shapes of canine faces. Mahi saw some of them smiling and waving at him. For not to look odd, Mahi too smiled and waved at them, but tied himself up with his own hands and tried really hard to make out who they were, while the experienced bull pulled the cart along the road towards the market without breaking road rules.

The bull pulled the cart into the market. Mahi was immersed in his canine-thoughts until the bull pulled up to the usual parking spot. Mahi sensing that the cart had stopped, turned around and saw that it was not the usual place he was accustomed to. He jumped over to the ground. Farmers who had brought their produce were seen crowded in front of the stalls that looked like auctions. 

They thronged, shouting “Fifty! Sixty! Forty-five!” and so on.

Mahi thought what Lord Mantis said about an arrangement for the farmers to earn a good sum of money for their crops must be this. He took one sack of brinjals on his back and approached one of the stalls.

He was surprised to see the same titanacanine who tried to snap his throat a day before in charge of the foremost stall. There was no doubt about it. Mahi could recognise that dog under any circumstance. With an overwhelming fear, he slowly moved on to the next stall, where he saw the titanacannies that snapped and devoured several good-sized snake gourds from his trellis conducting the auction there, and froze. Mahi was panicked despite the witchdoctor’s advice. Cannies have invaded the market. The usual merchants of those stalls were gone! Different-faced titanacannies were rating the vegetables. Mahi walked along, glancing at their faces. ‘Titanacannies which destroyed me and my crops are the goddamn bosses here…’ thought he, and carrying the brinjal sack, turned back to leave the place when he heard someone speaking from behind.

“Brother, you going?”

Mahi looked back. One of the dwarf cannies held him by the ankle till the other bit, was standing there. He forgot the witchdoctor’s advice and was ready to run when the titanacanny spoke again.

“Brinjal, no? Just give it to me, bro,” said the dwarfie, showing its white teeth and sticking its tongue out. “Seven more sacks in the cart, no? How much?”

“Hundred. One sack is one hundred,” said Mahi, thinking, ‘whatever happens…’ to himself, “Take it. Good stuff!”

The dwarfie gave a mocking laugh. “Crazy, bro? Today we buy it for eighteen. Say it is from Governor General’s farm, no difference, I swear! Man, I’ll give you twenty, for I know you. Why not! I’ve eaten your brinjals, no? What a great taste, ah… superb stuff!” said the canny, blinking an eye. Mahi looked around, not taking its talk seriously.

“Whadda ya say, man?”

“No… I just looked for the place Lord Mantis said would give our stuff a good price…”

“This is that place, bro,” said the dwarfie. “We handle the place. Early morning, we set the rate. You bring your stuff in the morning or evening, no difference. Fair to all. See, what a nice arrangement!”

“I don’t believe it,” said Mahi, and carried his sack of brinjals to an uncrowded stall where a furry canny with drooping ears was in charge.

“Brinjals, eh? Twenty is the price,” it uttered without even looking at it.

“Good stuff, Droopy, I grow them. Plucked fresh, today…”

The canny frowned. It seemed not pleased with the way it was addressed!

“I know they are good. I had a taste of it at your farm, remember? But this is the price for brinjal today!”

Mahi looked here and there, not having any idea what to do.

“Leave it here if you wish. Not going to carry it home and eat all by yourself, eh?” said the furry canny.

Mahi put the sack on the ground. In no time, two cannies not so charming like the droopy unloaded the rest of the brinjal sacks from the cart. Droopy settled the payment. Mahi felt so bad looking at the ‘one hundred and sixty’ on his palm. “Goddamn cannies, bloody rogues!”

“Bro, bring your superb Lady’s Fingers and snake gourd, too,” the dwarf said from behind. “Bring them tomorrow, man. A great price is always assured!”

There was something like a smile on the dwarf’s face. Mahi gave it back a slight smile and touched the knotted cord around his neck. He felt a new vigour running across himself.

“Bloody cannies! Son of a bitch! You finished me and my crops. You rot in hell, you bastards!!”

The titanacannies began barking. The whole marketplace shook to their bark. The droopy and bigger-built others came barking like hell’s dogs near Mahi and continued the deafening threat. Surrounded by the titanacannies, Mahi was frightened to death, but he remembered what the witchdoctor said, and stayed calm. ‘Trust the knotted cord. They cannot do anything to you until you have faith in it.’

He saw the tianacannies charging at him, but they couldn’t get any closer. Mahi turned to the cart and started walking away calmly from the cannies. A bell rang somewhere nearby! The barking titanacannies followed him a few feet and ran back to their stalls, where they stood at attention. From the corner emerged a big-built titanacannine, like a bouncer clad in a full suit, with a top hat on its head, and started stylishly walking along the line of stalls. It looked familiar to Mahi. ‘I must have seen it somewhere,’ thought he. It stopped at every stall, took off its top hat, turned it over and pushed it forward to the big canny running the business there. They all put coins into its hat. Hearing the tingling of the falling coins, it smiled, bent from its hip ceremonially, and moved on to the next stall. After collecting coins from the droopy at the far-end stall, it disappeared around the corner.

‘Hell! This is that titanacanine Lord Mantis takes along with his daily walk…’ Suddenly, Mahi remembered. ‘Look at the bugger! This time, it’s stolen a suit from Mantis…’

Mahi left home after the last blade of grass was hidden by the falling night. He was heading towards the manor, wanting to meet Lord Mantis, to let him know the titanacannies are feeding on vegetables now, that the titanacannies devour sack-loads of vegetables in the new market so no man can buy a thing. He wanted Lord Mantis to make sure the titanacannies stay out of the market bounds. The closer he got to the manor, the more baking, grunting, and canine howling he could hear. Touching the witchdoctor’s knotted cord around his neck, Mahi moved slowly through the darkness until he noticed the silhouette of the manor against the starlight in the vast sky.

The brightness of a Petromax light illuminated the manor’s verandah. A flat-snouted, bigheaded titanacanine of lordly air, like Lord Mantis was relaxing on a chaise longue, and several other titanacannies were lying around his feet. Strange feelings loomed in his mind, and Mahi did not want to risk walking in through the gates. He climbed a margosa tree near the manor’s gate to better view the verandah. It was an unexpected sight!

The titanacannine which collected coins at the market stalls was massaging Mantis’s legs. The dwarfie was pointing its nose upwards and sniffing the upper air currents as if it sensed Mahi’s presence nearby. All the crop-eaters who had almost destroyed his garden were there! Some were watching out the road, while some were patrolling around the manor. Those were the same titanacannies Mahi saw at the market in the morning. There was no doubt about it!

‘Will it make any difference by complaining to the Lord against his servants…’ thought Mahi.

Mahi, slightly shivering in fear and disappointment by the scene at the manor verandah, got off the Margosa tree and tracked his way slowly to the Vederala’s through solid darkness. He was relieved to tell it all to the witchdoctor.

“Vedarala, don’t we have anybody to make a complaint against these bastards?” he asked.

The witchdoctor thought for a second. “Why not? We’ll tell the Governor General!”

* * *

A rumour spread throughout the village that a team of gunmen were on their way to shoot the stray cannies that were causing problems for the residents. That was specifically planned as a clean-up-event before the Governor General’s planned visit to the village.

The gunmen arrived and searched the entire village for notorious titanacannies. Mahi walked behind them everywhere. But they only came across those decent canines living in ordinary households. No vegetable-eating, troublemaking bastards!

“Sirs, I can give you a hint. If you go to the manor of Lord Mantis after dark, you can find every one of the bloody cannies there, trust me!” Mahi told the gunmen. “They all live there…”

In the evening, Mahi stayed on the roadside to meet the gunmen returning from the manor.

“No cannys there, boy,” said the group leader. “The Lord only has a few butler boys for his service.”

“That’s a lie!” cried Mahi. “They fooled you. Sir, you don’t know what’s going on. They are zoomorphs. Every one of them. Dangerous beings from hell. They’re all cannies in human shape!”

The gunmen walked on, passing Mahi as if they did not hear him. Perhaps they just pretended so. The insane farmer’s continuous shouting was heard from a long distance away.

The Governor General visited the village. Everyone greeted him warmly, and a lavish lunch was prepared for him at the Mantis manor. The Governor General confirmed with Lord Mantis that the titanacannies causing problems for the public had been exterminated.

Mahi left his vegetable cultivation owing to canny threats. He wandered about in the village, pointing at titanacannies and shouting, cursing and swearing, sometimes chasing them with a wooden club in his hands. The witchdoctor gave him meals and shelter.

“Poor soul…” said Andara to the witchdoctor. “I told him not to get wet in that drizzle fell from the sky when the sun and moon shone together. Zoomorpluvia is dangerous.”

By Mohan Dharmaratne

Disclaimer: © Mohan Dharmaratne 2023. This is copyright material. Use of excerpts, and/or republishing on both printed and vertual media without written conscent by the Author and The Asian Review is strictly prohibited, and may have legal implications.