It wasn’t the coldest day of the month yet it was cold enough for birds to stop singing, flowers to hide from blossoming and even the sun to not to shine. Instead of rising early like the summer days, the sun rose over the Mont-Royal mountain peak past seven thirty. Montreal was still gloomy and sleepy. The otherwise buzzling Mont-Royal street was empty of people and vehicles, probably since it was Sunday. But our hero was up and ready, all set to start his work. As a matter of fact, he never really slept. He was amazed and also disappointed that humans, birds, even the silly old cat slept half the day. Sleep was a concept he could not grasp. Sleep is for the lazy ones, was his thought. He was fondly called Bajgo, resembling his clan.

Bajgo was one of the smartest of the machines that the humans invented in this last decade as an automated robot vacuum cleaner. He knew not only to clean but to evade the obstacles, find its path and clean an entire floor with no recharging, the best of all, it knew how to go back home. Once the job was done, Bajgo would slowly find its way to the charging port—it’s resting home. He could be programmed to suit the floor.

Machines such as Bajgo were such a help for many who either did not have time to clean or could not do so due to physical reasons. He never complained, rejected an assignment, asked for overtime or did a half-baked job. Always came on top of the cleaning duties. No maid, domestic, could ever challenge this smart guy. Many people who would do a part time for cleaning or even some full-timers went bankrupt due to Bajgos’ unique talents. Who can blame him?

You see the moment you invite an outsider to work; you need to have a watchful eye for your belongings. People get tempted all the time and valuables kept with no guard could make these people’s will power so weak that they might decide to change the venue from a cupboard to their own pocket. Bajgo on the other hand had no such fallacy, craving or desire. He never had an issue of loyalty, a second thought, or greed. It did not need religious guidance, daily prayers, or motivational speakers to do that. It was programmed that way. See the irony here. Humans who are dishonest could create machines with strict honesty.

Now for Bajgo there were no enormous challenges. Of course, it needed a charge after work. Even humans need that, don’t they? Other than that, Bajgo hated the stupid cat who had no brains to understand Bajgo’s genius nature. For the cat, Bango was just another toy. Only a bit of a complicated one who knew how to run away when pounded upon. That gave more incentive for the cat since a challenging prey is worth fighting for. Other than the very complex behavior, Bajgo was just another item with no warmth, unlike the owner of the cat.

Although the cat was an eternal annoyance, Bajgo was relieved that his owner, Rosa, opted for a cat instead of a kid. At the shop where Rosa takes him for occasional oil massages once every three months, he gets to talk to fellow robot vacuum cleaners.Some were from his own clan and some were from a distant eastern empire known as China where most of the machines are given birth by humans. Although they looked very similar, Bajgo’s clan preferred to maintain a distance with them. Even the machines nowadays had a sense of discrimination, unfortunately.

Oh, back to the kids! The kids apparently are terrible little monsters who would show no mercy for these roundish, sleek robot vacuum cleaners. Irrespective of their age, they would chase them, press their little buttons so hard, trash them, knock them with toy cars with terrible shapes. There was an incident where a very chubby kid used the one cleaner as a weighing scale to sit. The stories were all nightmarish. After every massage day, Bajgo would wake up screaming at the sight of a little kid who was trying to trample him. So he was pleased that the old cat had no such devious plan.

As usual on Sunday, Rosa the landlord woke up with a slight hangover. The party the previous night was heavy, and the floor looked messy. Lucky for her, she had one friend who never had weekend hangovers. “Off you go Bajgo, get them all”. Rosa switched Bango , set a music and went for a hot shower.Bajgo knew its territory well enough and let nothing rest in peace. Be it a breadcrumb, a tiny dust particle, fallen candies,bits of papers. Well, he swallowed it all.

Bajgo loved his owner, who always respected, admired and even recommended buying his cousins. When Bajgo heard the command, he was ready to swallow anything that stood in its way. Little by little, his mission started. One tile to another, one inch to another. He went on cleaning, giving no chance for a single dust particle to survive. This was not just another offensive, but a clear scorched earth mission just like the humans usually executed. The music was somber and Bajgo liked his owner’s choices. Wasn’t too loud, wasn’t too mild. Just the way he liked it. The music helped him to concentrate, although he did not really need that. In fifteen minutes, half the floor was cleaned as if the cat had licked it from its tongue. It was shiny. Did Bajgo need a coffee break or to call his girlfriend? Of course not. He went on.

As he approached the far corner, he came across a shoe. Now shoes were his arch enemies in this battlefield. They always brought dust home. Sometimes even the most stinky remains of dogs. Whether Rosa went to the office, for a walk, to the supermarket, she always used one shoe or another. It didn’t matter which model they always brought dust. If Bajgo was the ruler of the planet, he would have made it illegal to wear shoes. The core of all the household issues. Bajgo could not really understand how humans would invent smart machines like him, yet fail to have shoes that do not attract dust. Maybe ‘it was all industrial espionage,’ he thought. If the shoe does not bring dust, I would have had no purpose. Maybe the shoe industry is funded by the vacuum cleaners industry. Who knows, maybe they are the same company split for tax evasions. Bajgo’s mind was like a whirlpool. None of those logics could ease his anger and hatred towards the shoes. He went on a full scale offensive against the shoe. He suddenly thought of punishing the shoe and started to swallow the shoelace.

Suddenly, Bajgo felt as if he was experiencing a blackout. Everything around him started to disappear and he can not breathe. He tried to cry for help. No words could come out of his mouth. The lace had completely blocked his airways. And Bajgo lost his consciousness. The music went on, but there was no sound of the humming of Bajgo. Rosa came out of the shower and her eyes went blank seeing what had happened. Poor Bajgo, who tried to swallow its nemesis, had succumbed to its death by strangling the laces of its nemesis. The smartest machine was sadly defeated by a dirty, old and stupid shoelace, Rosa thought.

By Dhanuka Dickwella

Disclaimer: © Dhanuka Dickwella, 2023. This is copyright material. Use of excerpts, and/or republishing on both printed and vertual media without written conscent by the Author and The Asian Review is strictly prohibited, and may have legal implications.